Disparu
by LivyWrites
Summary: We all know the akuma victim always forgets about everything they did while corrupted, but what if someone remembered? And what if that guilt led to something worse?
1. The Guardians of Paris

**Author's Note**

 **This fanfic is a lot different from all of the others out there. Usually a fanfic is about the main characters of the show you're writing about, (in this case it being Miraculous Ladybug) but this isn't. (Don't worry though! Marinette and Adrien are still in it.) I wanted to try something new and different, so here is the end result. Enjoy! :)**

The ball was racing towards me. I prepared my hands, knowing that the impact would hurt. Right as I gained contact with the ball I clamped my hands together. Despite my effort, the combination of mud and damp air proved to be my demise. The ball slipped clean out of my hands, taking my pride with it. Everyone on my team groaned, some letting their frustration show while others, like my three friends London, Ava and Andrew, meant it in a teasing manner. I shrugged helplessly to my team before picking up the smooth volleyball. I tossed it back to a boy who readied the next play.

"You know you're not supposed to catch a volleyball, right Charlotte?" My twin brother Benjamin asked, trying to hold back laughter.

I scowled at him. "My hands aren't for throwing a stupid padded ball around. I'm more accustomed to the-"

"The delicate keys of a piano. I know." Ben said, cutting into my argument. My frown deepened as he laughed and punched me lightly on the shoulder.

"I'm only kidding!" He said quickly. "What would I be without my other half?"

I smirked, my self confidence growing stronger with every laugh that bounced from my twin. "Nothing but a sack of flesh and bones."

"Spoken like a true introvert."

I laughed and shoved my brother, jogging back into the game of volleyball, trailing behind Ben and his shining, positive atmosphere. Although him and I were twins, we acted more like opposites. Ben was the light, I was the shadow. True we had our moments when we'd finish each other's sentences or play alongside the same joke or prank, but we never were identical on the inside. On the outside, we looked as identical as opposite gender identical twins can be. We were two sides of the same coin.

"Ben! Quick talking to your sister and let's get going! We're running out of daylight!" A boy yelled, waving his arms in the air as if he were signaling for a plane.

I rolled my eyes. _The sun still has hours till it sets idiot._ The boy who had just shouted at the two of us was Ben's best friend Logan Brown. If I weren't already Ben's twin, I'm sure Logan would've gladly been the replacement. They acted the same in almost every conceivable way. It annoyed me.

"Not so much luck today, huh?" Andrew asked, smiling as I stood next to him. Andrew was my only friend who played the piano at the same level as me. He wanted to become a concert pianist when he got out of high school, and I planned on doing the same. He's not really the popular type, and he's confessed to me multiple times that he gets along with girls better than he does boys.

I sighed. "I don't understand why people play this. Slamming your arms into a ball where the padding doesn't do anything just so you can get it over a ridiculously tall net doesn't seem very rewarding."

"Neither does complaining." He pointed out.

I glared at him for a moment before laughing. "I guess you're right." Before another word could be said, the more sport favored boys started the play, and the ball was served into the air. Andrew and I watched in mild interest as all of kids on our team hastily gathered beneath the ball and smacked it back over. It flied over the lines marking the boundaries.

"Out!" Logan shouted as he caught the ball and chucked it to the boy who was serving next. Ben whooped along with the rest of his team, everyone leaping back into their positions.

"Shouldn't we be helping?" Andrew asked.

"Nah." I replied. "So why didn't London come?"

Andrew looked over at me with an eyebrow raised. "Why do you think she didn't come?"

"Let me guess. She doesn't want to be around all of these boys?"

Andrew nodded with an amused smile plastered onto his face.

"I don't get it!" I said, exasperated. "She hangs around you just fine, and she doesn't complain about the boys in her drama class."

London's a peculiar girl. She's nice and occasionally you can get a witty comment out of her, but most of the time she's quiet and observant. However, she's an actress, and a hardcore one at that. She's had a lead role in every musical that's ever been performed at the high school, and yet those accomplishments haven't gotten her anywhere near the top of the social ladder. Why, might you ask? Well it's because she never talks about her lead roles, and she's such a different person on stage that people hardly even recognize her when she's in normal clothes without a bucket load of makeup on.

After about an hour more of standing around the field doing nothing but watching the others play, Andrew and I finally decided to leave the game. I told Ben I wanted to get home to practice piano, and Andrew used the same excuse. However, Ben knew I just wanted to get out of public, so he nodded with a knowing glint in his eye. I pulled out my keys from my pocket, pointing them at my old minivan as I clicked the "unlock" button. The car lights flashed once to signal the connection, and I slipped into the driver's seat while Andrew settled into shotgun. I shoved the key into the ignition, turning them to start the car. The minivan slowly sputtered to life, coughing out puffs of smoke.

"You need a new car." Andrew said, scrunching his nose in disgust.

"You say that every time you get in here." I retorted.

I pulled out of the parking lot, driving away from the park. I drove through the streets of Paris, slowly but surely making my way to Andrew and I's apartment. We both lived in the same apartment building, which was one of the reasons why we were so close.

Turning a corner, I slammed my foot onto the brake to avoid hitting the back of the car in front of me. "WOAH!" Andrew yelped, catching himself before his head slammed onto the dash.

"Sorry." I said, trying to see around the car in front of me.

Andrew groaned. "What's going on?"

I shrugged. "I don't know... maybe... do you think...?" I said, mostly talking to myself.

Andrew, catching onto my train of thought, smiled excitedly. "Maybe we'll see them!"

I forced myself not to smile, knowing full too well that you could easily be let down if you let your hopes rise too quickly. The higher you rise, the further you'll fall.

"Look! There! They're right there!" Andrew exclaimed, pointing out the window.

My heart jumped for a second as I saw the two of them, Ladybug and Chat Noir, standing on a roof up above. They smiled and waved to get the traffic going, and soon we all began to inch forward. Trying to keep my eyes on the road while looking at Ladybug and Chat Noir at the same time, my mind spinned with hundreds of possibilities of what made the two most famous people appear so randomly. _Was there another akuma attack? Or was it a car accident?_ Soon the two superheros turned away from the traffic and leapt away, their silhouettes slowly fading as the distance between us became too great.

"What do you think they were doing here?" Andrew asked me, his face bright from the excitement.

I smiled to myself. Andrew was always a huge fan of Ladybug and Chat Noir, but then again everyone was. However, I had always had a curious wonder about them. _Where did they come from? And how did they get their miraculouses? Is it possible I could get one too?_ "Probably just a car accident." I replied in a monotone, forcing myself out of my head.

As if on cue, blinking lights catched Andrew and I's attention. We looked out towards our left, seeing two wrecked suburbans, two completely smashed small cars and a police car all parked on the side of the rode. No ambulances were in sight, probably because of Ladybug and Chat Noir's help. An elderly couple, two teenage boys and one young woman stood before a policeman as he gestured his hands vigorously. Obviously the three guilty victims were getting a fierce lecture.


	2. Home Alone

"Charlie!" Ava exclaimed, laughing and sitting down on the sidewalk next to me. It was time for lunch, and everywhere outside students sat clumped in tight groups across the lawn. Ava sat on my right and Andrew sat on my left. London hadn't arrived yet. "How's it goin' Charlie? Andrew?" Ava asked, taking a turkey sandwich out of her lunch bag and energetically taking a giant bite.

"Where were you yesterday for volleyball? Ben dragged us along, saying his friends needed more people to have even teams. We could've used you." Andrew replied, taking a bite of his own out of an apple.

Ava shrugged. "I had softball practice. Nothin' I could do about that." Ava was by far the most athletic and energetic out of the four of us. She was a softball player, and she planned to take her beloved sport to college. She was an extreme prankster, and with every opportunity she could find, she would trick you. My dad loved her. Mostly because he too had played baseball in high school and the two could relate a lot.

"Hi guys." London's quiet voice made us raise our heads, and she smiled as she sat down across from us.

"Hey London." I responde, cracking a small smile before returning to my usual flat expression. A pause soon came into the short conversation, but it was quickly interrupted by Ava. Which happened almost every single time.

"Guess what!" She said, a mischievous grin on her face that made her eyes twinkle.

We all looked at her, not daring to say "what" in case it was a trick. Appearing undisturbed by the silent response, Ava continued on with even more enthusiasm.

"There was a big wreck downtown and people say Ladybug and Chat Noir were there to help!" She groaned. "I wish I could've been there…"

Andrew and I exchanged glances. "We were." I said flatly.

"What?!" Both Ava and London sputtered out at the same time, their jaws hanging and their eyes wide.

I smiled with pride. "Yeah we saw them jump onto a roof and then leap away."

"They were so close!" Andrew added, his face just as bright as it had been when the moment had occured.

"Oh gosh darn it you guys are too lucky!" Ava said loudly, making me want to cover her mouth with my hand. "You know… sometimes I wish I could get akumatized so that when Ladybug and Chat Noir defeat me I'll get to see them, heck, I'll even get to talk to them!"

I glared at Ava. "You shouldn't think that way." I scolded. "Thinking that way will give Hawk Moth a free ticket to akumatize you!" I shuddered at the thought of the mysterious power that maniacal man held. _What if… what if I were akumatized? I wonder what it would feel like… well, it probably wouldn't feel like anything since you forget…_

Ava smiled sheepishly. "Sorry.. But I can't help but fantasize about something like that. I mean just imagine! Having superpowers of your own!" She sighed. "But you're right. I know that if I get akumatized my first target would probably be you, Charlie, and I don't want to hurt you." She said with a devilish smile before laughing. I smiled as Andrew and London laughed a bit as well. Even though Ava was joking, I couldn't help but fear those dark butterflies that could twist your mind into a monster you never knew existed.

It was even worse to know that that monster was you.

The rest of the school day had continued on as usual. I had sludged through math, slept through english, and played on my phone during biology. Once the final bell had rung the students loudly gathered their stuff together and crowded their way out of the classroom. I waited behind, knowing that I would only get an elbow to the face if I tried to get past the mob. Once most of my classmates were gone, I stood and slung my backpack over my shoulder, and walked out of the classroom.

I was almost to the front door when a girl roughly my age stumbled in front of me and tripped. The girl had bouncing pigtails with a red ribbon in each. She had startling bluebell eyes. She looked up at me, her face flushed with embarrassment. "So...sor...sorry." She said hastily, standing. I smiled and shrugged and told her it was nothing, even though I was annoyed.

"Marinette come on!" A voice called out. The girl's face grew even more red and she apologized again and trotted off. She smiled to a girl with brown hair and tan skin, who looked over at me with interest and possibly even a bit of hate as if it were my fault that the clumsy girl had tripped. I shrugged again, keeping a calm demeanor as I walked out of the school.

I pointed my keys towards my car, locking it as I walked up the steps to the apartment building my family and I lived in. I walked down the hallway to room 103, pulling out another key and unlocking the door. I shut the door behind me as I set my backpack on the floor, kicking off my shoes as well. The apartment room seemed empty enough, and I hadn't seen my mother's car out in the parking lot, so I set my keys down on the counter and called out. When no one answered I smiled to myself. I loved it when I was home alone, especially when it was for the whole day. When you're home alone you can do things that normally you wouldn't be aloud to or embarrassed to do. However, it was a pain to have to make dinner for yourself.

I opened up the fridge and grabbed the brownie I hadn't been able to finish that morning and took off the plastic wrapping. I sat down at the counter and pulled out my phone as I took a bite from the cold treat.

I opened up the news app, scrolling through the many articles and useless bickering about debates and weather. I paused, my finger hovering over the screen as I saw a picture of Ladybug and Chat Noir. Above the picture was a headline that read **GUARDIANS OF PARIS HELP WITH FATAL CAR CRASH** I smiled to myself, remembering the wreckage. _What Ava would've given to see them._ I glanced back down at the headline, again a wave of questions flooding my mind. _I wonder who Ladybug and Chat Noir really are… who knows? Maybe I ran into them today, or… maybe they live in this very apartment building._ It seemed silly to me for them to hide their identities. Why hide from fame? _I guess it's so Hawk Moth doesn't attack them while they're caught unawares… And to think… Hawk Moth could live in this very apartment building as well. In fact, he could be above this very room right now._ I shivered at the thought.

Settling onto the padded bench before the old keys of my piano, I reached down and pulled out a song from a bag, placing the pages onto the stand above the black and white keys. I place my hands on the piano, glancing down to make sure they were on the correct notes. The song was called Pagodes by Claude Debussy. It reminded me of pagodes and it settled my need to travel the world. I smiled to myself before playing, knowing everyone from around the world wanted to come to Paris to snatch a picture or even a glance of Ladybug and Chat Noir, but I wanted to leave the compact city.

My fingers pressed down onto the keys, playing the first chord. Afterwards, I relied on my muscle memory and eyes to play the song. The notes rang out in perfect unison, filling the otherwise empty room with sweet sound. The volume of the song decreased and increased in smooth slopes, and my smile widened from the feeling of control I had with the music. However, with that control also came the responsibility of playing the right notes with the correct rhythm and style. I didn't worry too much though. I had played this song plenty of times to be able to play it with my eyes closed.

 _I bet Andrew couldn't play this._ I thought to myself, finishing the song smugly. My hands lifted off of the piano softly, and I gathered up the pages. _Then again… he plays some songs that would definitely take me some time to perfect._ Sighing, the sound of the piano having faded away into the normal sounds of cars beeping and screeching, I stood up from the instrument and walked back to the kitchen, once again opening the fridge. I pulled out some leftover lasagna and placed it into the microwave. While the microwave heated the food, I grabbed my backpack and pulled out my homework, plugging my laptop into it's charger. BEEP! BEEP! I raced over to the microwave, pulling out the lasagna right as my stomach rumbled hungrily. "Patience." I muttered, smiling to myself because of my dim sense of humor. I placed the platter onto the counter and sat onto a stool, eating while I simultaneously did my homework.


	3. Message

Having finished my homework, I glanced out of the windows only to find darkness staring back at me, punctured by a thousand twinkling lights. Frowning, I pulled out my phone and checked the time. It was roughly 8:30 at night. Tucking my homework back into my backpack, I started to worry. My parents sometimes went out to eat without telling me, but they would at least text me if it got too late. I glanced back down at my phone, debating on whether I should call or not. _Maybe mom went shopping. But then dad would've been home from work by now…_ My stomach clenched as more horrifying thoughts popped into my mind. _What if something happened to them? What if they're hurt? Or what if… what if they're akumatized?_ I shook my head, scolding myself for being so foolish. If they had gotten into a car crash and were in the hospital, the police or someone would've told me. If they were akumatized then the akuma attack alarms would go off and I would get a million notifications on my phone.

 _Did something happen to Ben?_ I bit my lip. Ben was usually home around seven, whether he had gotten home from football practice or just hanging out with his many friends. On rare occasions, he would get home later but he usually contacted my parents or myself to let us know. _Maybe he forgot?_ Finally deciding to put my worries to rest, I pulled out my phone and called my mom. The phone rang. Once. Twice. Then it went to voicemail. _Why didn't it ring all the way through?_ Hoping it was just because her phone had died, I called my dad. It didn't even ring. It went straight to voicemail. My heart rate quickening, I tried my brother. It rang out, until finally the electronic voice informed me that my brother was currently unavailable.

"What's going on?" I asked myself. I walked over to the couch and sat down, holding my phone with both hands. I called both of my parents and Ben again, but once again they didn't answer. I left voicemails with all three, hoping that they would call me back and explain this was all just a big mess with bad communication. After five minutes, I tried to call all three once again. Just like before, none of them answered. I continued to call, my hope quickly diminishing each time the same small voice flatly told me that they wouldn't answer, and my own mind cruelly agreed.

It was an hour later when my phone vibrated. Everything on screen froze for a second before it switched to show that my dad was calling. My heart leaped into my throat and I hastily clicked the green phone icon to answer. I held the phone up to my ear, feeling relieved and relaxed. The first thing I heard was a sharp intake of breath and a sniffle. My hands gripped the phone tighter. It sounded like my dad was crying.

"C-charlie you need to come to the hos… to the hospital." My dad said, choking on half of the words he was saying. My own throat clogged up and my whole body tensed up.

"Dad, what's going on? Why haven't you answered your phone? Where's mom and Ben?"

"Just come. Please." And with that, he hung up. My hand slowly lowered the phone away from my ear, and I tried to gulp my fears away. I was met with nothing but a dry throat. After the initial shock had worn off, I rushed to the counter and grabbed my keys. I darted out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I didn't bother locking it.

I shoved the keys into the ignition, quickly pulling out of the parking lot. I wanted to speed to the hospital, to sprint all of the way there, but I forced myself to keep my trembling hands on the wheel.

Once I had parked my car in the hospital parking lot, I snatched my keys and sprinted to the hospital, my mind a flurry of horrible and terrible reasons as to why this was happening, each worse than the last. I burst through the doors. My eyes scanned the lobby, and I found my parents. They were standing together in the back of the waiting room which was to the side of the desk. I jogged over to them, containing an outburst of my confused and fearful emotions.

My parents looked up at me, their eyes and cheeks stained with tears. My mom however, still had fresh tears streaming down hers. "What's going on?" I asked quietly, my hands clenched into fists. It was torture for me not to scream at them and demand answers.

My dad opened his mouth to reply, but it was right then when a nurse stepped out of a door that led to the hospital beyond the waiting room. "Cathy and Aaron Parkson?" She called out. My parents walked over to the nurse and I followed closely behind, my heart thumping painfully fast. "I'm sorry." She looked over them and made eye contact with me, and I could tell that she carried a heavy burden in her mouth. I almost didn't want her to say anything more. My clever mind had already ran into the most probable solution, and I wished with every fiber in my being that it wasn't true. "Ben won't last the night. I'm sorry. We've done all we could, but it was too much. It would be best if you went in to see him now."


	4. Famous Last Words

The whole world became muffled, and my ears felt numb from the words I had just heard. I forced myself to move, watching with disbelief as my more sobs racked my mom's body. My dad hugged her close. I followed behind them, staring straight ahead as my mind ran the words over and over, until they were dissected of any further meaning. _Maybe it's just a prank! Ava probably arranged it. Once we get into the room Ben will be there smiling and Ava, Andrew and even London will jump out at me._ Another lump quickly formed in my throat. Even if I convinced myself that it was all just a prank, I couldn't stifle my emotions.

Before I even knew it, we were standing before a door. I knew that behind it lay my brother. My twin. My heart and mind continued to reject it, but I knew full well that it was true. It didn't do much to muffle the torment in my head. _Don't let this be true… don't let this be true…_ The phrase continued to repeat itself as I stepped into the room, and my stiff head looked towards a bed that lay against the wall. The room was mostly white, and a confusing array of instruments and tools filled almost half of the room. A steady, quiet beep sounded from the heart monitor.

My eyes widened and flooded with tears, and I uttered a choked cry. There on the bed was my twin. Ben. His face had bandages covering an eye and most of his head. White band-aids and pads covered bloody cuts and bruises. The rest of his body was concealed by a thin blue blanket.

He didn't look like my other half. He looked broken.

His eyes were closed, but once the nurse had left and the door closed with a small click, his eyes opened. They scanned over the three of us. His usual colored eyes looked gray and pale, as if he saw something we didn't. A little smile appeared on his bruised lips. "Hi guys." He croaked out, his voice sounding startling weak. By even just looking at him you could tell he was fading. "Sorry about… about all of this." He said, no more than a whisper.

I slowly walked towards the bed, stopping right by his side. I stared down at him, my mind having shut down. Now only my heart bled. "What…?" I said quietly to myself. Ben looked over at me, turning his head slightly. I could tell it caused him enormous pain even though he didn't show it. "How…Why… Be-" My pathetic words were cut off when a flow of tears suddenly fell down my cheeks, and my throat refused to voice anything but the sounds of crying and despair. I crumpled, falling down onto my knees so that I was level with Ben. My twin. I looked over his soft expression, and I smiled weakly, wanting to show him strength in his final moments. "What are you without your other half?" I asked quietly.

"Nothing but a… but a sack of flesh… and bones." Ben replied, his voice just as weak as my smile.

"Spoken like a true introvert." I responded, finishing the exchange. I laughed with a cracked throat and a cracked heart.

Ben's smile grew and his eyes fluttered. "Spoken like… like my twin… yeah…" He looked back up at the ceiling. "We really are the same aren't… aren't we?" He said, his eyes drifting close. My heart rate quickened, the muscle being revitalized by the sudden change of sound. It took me a moment before I realized that the heart monitor was no longer beeping. My head spun towards the heart monitor screen. The green line was no longer spiking with each heartbeat. Instead it was flat. The monitor was letting out a long, painful sound, as if it were singing the proclamation of another death.

"No…" The word fell out of my mouth like a breath and I spun back towards Ben, but he was already gone. The monitor fell silent with a defiant click. "Ben… No…" I whimpered, staring at his lifeless face. The smile was gone, and so was the light that had always surrounded him. My lip trembled and more tears flushed out of my eyes. I laid my head down on the hard rim of the bed. I cried.

Three days later everyone was garbed in black. I watched with hopelessness and despair as some abled bodied men lowered a wooden casket down into the grave. I was standing at the front of the group along with my mom and dad, while everyone else who was attending the funeral were behind us. Once the casket had reached the bottom of the rectangle ditch, the same men from before shoveled dirt into the grave.

It was on that same day when I learned that Ben had perished in a car accident. He was with his friends, driving home from football practice at five when another car drove directly into the side of Ben's jeep. It was then that I had also learned that the article I had seen earlier that day was actually about that car crash, and not the one from before.

While I watched the men finish filling the grave with dirt, I couldn't help but feel angry with both Ben and my parents. _They didn't even bother calling me when they learned about the crash… they could've told me sooner, and I could've spent more time with my twin before he died._ I glanced over at my mom and dad. Despite my anger, there was a sense of understanding between us. _If I were in their position, I also would've been too overcome by grief to make a phone call… And they probably wanted to tell me themselves, instead of the police…_ I felt the familiar burn in my nose as I felt more tears rising, but I suppressed them. I had already cried enough. My other half wouldn't have cried so much, so I won't.

After the funeral was finished, people began to separate, some who we didn't know as well leaving the cemetery. Andrew, Ava and London soon walked up to me. All three of them didn't say a word. Instead, they all hugged me at once. I buried my head into their embrace, allowing some tears to leak past my barrier. I looked up at them, seeing the remorse and sympathy that they held in their eyes. "Thanks for being here." I muttered, embarrassed to be seen crying in front of them.

They smiled. "No problem, Charlie." Ava said, her usual mischievous glint in her eyes long gone. Instead, a sweet sympathy filled her gaze.

"I'm really sorry." Andrew said quietly. I lowered my gaze from them. Because of the shock of Ben's death, I hadn't had time to think about anything. Now that that was over, my mind was rudely running through memories I had with Ben, making the pain worse.

"It's not your fault." I replied, becoming lost in my mind. _I'm surprised I haven't been akumatized yet._ My heart skipped a beat. I was surprised by the sudden thought. I looked back up at my three friends, and I smiled at them. _It's because of them, isn't it._ I reached out and hugged them again, and they all smiled as we formed a small circle.

No words were said for a while until London had to go. I nodded at her apologies, smiling with understanding. Ava and Andrew stayed behind, talking to me casually, Ava throwing in her usual witty remarks. I smiled and laughed with them. It was nice to have my mind off of the grief I had been feeling over the past few days. However, there was always that nagging thought. _Ben's dead. You'll never see him again._ I did my best to cover it with my friends comments and conversation.


	5. An Empty Half

"Hey, I'm sorry about your brother, Charlie." One of Ben's friends said, smiling.

I smiled back at him. "Thanks." My smile faded as he walked away, leaving me alone. A lot of people had been coming up to me lately, saying 'I'm sorry for your loss' or something like that. It had always made me feel warm and accepted, even though Ben's death left a hole in my heart. He really was my other half, and without him I felt incomplete.

I turned and walked towards my classroom, thinking to myself. It had been three days since the funeral. So in all, it had been nearly a week since Ben's death. Although it felt as if it had been an eternity. It was strange really. I felt like I should still be sore from the wound, but I wasn't. Maybe it was because of everyone's help and support, or maybe it was because I was still denying it. I didn't know.

I suddenly bumped into a person in front of me, a result of my lowered gaze and wandering mind. "Sorry." I muttered, looking up. I stopped breathing for a second.

In front of me with an amused expression was Adrien Agreste. The famous fashion model. I hardened my gaze and started to walk past him, but he stopped me. _Oh great. The famous pretty boy wants to talk to me._

"Wait, I'm sorry about your brother. I heard about the car crash." He said quickly, grabbing me for a second on the arm. He quickly let go, as if he was afraid he had crossed the line.

I turned around to face him again, feeling slightly aggravated. "It's fine." I said flatly, trying to hold back my annoyance. Adrien smiled sympathetically.

"I hope you're doing ok." He said.

"I would be doing better if Ladybug and Chat Noir had actually saved him." I spitted out, stopping myself before I said anything else.

Adrien suddenly looked extremely hurt. He quickly hid it behind a nod, but I could tell that that had really hurt him. _Why? I was just stating how I felt. I wasn't meaning to insult him. Well, maybe I was… in a slightly… passive aggressive way I guess._

"Uh… sorry." I said before walking away. What I had stated just now was how I had actually felt. It was a new thought that had occurred to me before, but I had always done my best to suppress it. I didn't want to suddenly have an emotional break down. I would then be a free corpse for Hawk Moth to possess. I guess the fear of akumas was the only thing that kept me from falling into depression. That and my friends, of course.

Lunch soon came, and once again I found myself sitting with Andrew on my left, Ava on my right and London in front of us all. We all talked about everything except Ben. I knew they did this on purpose, and I did my best to contain remarks about my twin. I know people say that it's best to rant about your emotions sometimes, but I knew that if I did, I would get out of control. Literally.

I didn't say much for a while. I only merrily listened to my friends talk. After all, it was what I did most of the time. I was about to say something when a flicker of movement caught my eye. I turned my head only to find myself staring at Logan. His back was to me, and he was talking with his friends. _Ben's friends._ I felt a slight pain in my chest. I immediately thought about something else, forcing myself to ignore Logan and to listen to my friends once again.

After a while I stood up, gathering up the plastic bags and wrappers from my lunch. I walked over to the garbage can and deposited the trash. I turned to walk back to my friends when Logan stood in my way. I looked up at him, instantly glaring. "Um… sorry I didn't say anything to you at the funeral… I know how you felt." He said. _Don't pretend to be the victim._ My mind growled. "But I just wanted to say sorry. I'm sorry about… about Ben." I could tell that it caused him pain to say my twins name, but I suppressed the feeling of sympathy. This _friend_ was nothing more than a reminder of Ben's death. A sudden thought sprang to the front of my mind.

"You were in the car with him." I stated plainly, the glare still in my eyes.

The statement had caught him off guard. "Uh… yeah. I was."

I stepped closer to him. "It's all your fault." I snarled menacingly. "You… distracted him, and that made him crash."

Logan's eyes widened. "No! The other car drove into us! I'm only alive because I was in the very back!"

"Exactly!" I shouted. Some people turned to look at the commotion. "Why couldn't it have been you?" My voice raised in volume. "Why couldn't you have been driving? Why did Ben die when all you got was a few measly scratches?! Tell me!" I was almost screaming at this point. Logan stepped away from me, his hands held up as if to calm a wild beast. Which, in a way, he was.

"I-it wasn't my fault!" He retaliated. I stuck a finger into his chest.

"Of course it was! My brother, my twin, is dead because of YOU!" I shoved him out of the way, stomping past. Tears sprang up into my eyes as the reality of it all came crashing down upon me. _Ben's dead… my twin's dead… he's gone… gone! He's dead forever because some idiot couldn't take his place!_

"Charlie!" Andrew called out as I stomped past them. I broke out into a run, the tears now falling down my face.

I ignored everyone's stares and exclamations. I sprinted past them all, wiping at me eyes with my shirt. I kept running until I was out of the view of hundreds of students. I ran into the school, dodging other students and teachers as I choked on the rising sobs that I knew would soon burst out of me. I kept running until I was in the girls bathroom. Making sure no one else was there, I slid down the wall, hugging my knees to my chest. I let the tears fall. I let the sobs echo off of the walls.

"Charlotte?" A timid voice said quietly. I looked up, knowing my eyes were red and that my lip was trembling pathetically. My eyes narrowed at the girl standing by the door. It was the same girl with pigtails that had fallen in front of me before… _before Ben died._

"What do you want?" I asked, my voice sounding hollow and dry.

She looked down at her hands before making eye contact with me. "You need to calm down, Charlotte." She said quietly, walking towards me. She smiled. "Ben wouldn't want you to feel this way."

I couldn't believe it. This random girl, who suddenly knew my name, was trying to calm me down and make me feel better. _Why does she care? She's a complete stranger!_ "I don't care what you have to say. Just go." I replied, just as quiet as her. My eyes narrowed even more. "You don't know me, and I don't know you. So the only logical solution is for you to leave." When the girl didn't move, my pent up frustration, pain and sadness exploded. "LEAVE! GET OUT OF HERE!" I screamed. The girl took one last sorrowful glance at me before she turned and left, and fresh tears spilled out of my eyes and onto my already stained cheeks.


	6. Echoes In My Head

I was still crying when I saw it. At first it was only a dash of black, but once my eyes found it again, dread clutched my heart. It was an akuma. The corrupted moth was squeezing itself underneath the door. I stared at it with a rigid gaze until it finally made it into the bathroom. The creature fluttered up from the ground, and slowly began to make it's way towards me, floating on an invisible draft of wind.

 _An...an akuma… An akuma!_ I suddenly sprung into action, fumbling to get my knees underneath me. I struggled to my feet, slipping on a wet patch on the bathroom floor. I fell again and glanced over my shoulder, catching another glimpse of the akuma. It was closer. Desperately I flipped onto my back and began to back crawl away from it, scared to look away from the creature.

In a strange way… the thing was actually quite beautiful. It was black, with lightning looking streaks of purple arching across its wings. I continued to back pedal away from it until my head and back hit the wall of the bathroom. _I have to get out of here._ I thought to myself. I shook my head, clearing away my panic and fear with that single thought. I wouldn't let Hawk Moth gain access to my head through a pathetic way like this. I shakily got to my feet, and the akuma stopped it's creeping advance. It fluttered there in the air, as if it were waiting to see what I would do next. I shuddered. Then, taking one step towards the akuma, it continued on it's advance, seemingly faster than before. My heart rate quickening, I took another step, then another… When I was too close to the moth for comfort, I bent my knees ever so slightly and lunged to the side of the akuma, dodging it as I made a mad dash for the bathroom door on the other side of the room.

I took only three steps when my legs refused to move. A cold shiver ran up my back, and my head instantly grew foggy. A strange sensation came over me, and I could feel my anger… my pain, narrowing into one single motive that pierced through my entire being in a hard black spear.

"Disparu…" A clear voice slid smoothly through my ears, muffling out any other sound, like a serpent enticing its prey before striking. "Someone has been taken away from you… someone you loved."

 _Ben…_ My thoughts echoed. My eyes narrowed as I thought about Logan. _It's his fault._

"Ah. I see." The voice said, a tinge of understanding coloring the sound. I smiled. "Disparu… I'm granting you the power to _erase_ others from your view, others who should've taken your twins place."

 _Erase…?_ I repeated the word in my mind, tossing it around as I tasted the flavor of revenge.

"I'm granting you the power to wreak havoc wherever, whenever, and to whomever you wish, with only one favor…" The voice paused, and I found myself wishing for it to come back in those short few seconds. "Take Ladybug's and Chat Noir's miraculous for me, and the world will feel your pain. Your _despair._ "

I smirked and opened my mouth to respond when a sudden thought numbed the spear of pain, anger and revenge. _Is this what Ben would've wanted?_ The spear of my emotions instantly struck back, with a thought that sounded foreign to me… as if it weren't my own. _If Ben were alive and you were dead, he would be doing the same thing._ My smirk faded from my face and I gritted my teeth as I tried to sort the commotion of emotions and thoughts that my mind was throwing at me, each trying to gain control. _Ben doesn't want me to wreak havoc, and I don't want to either! It's wrong! Perhaps it's wrong, and perhaps it's not… it doesn't matter now. Give in, help me, calm your torrent of anger with the cooling waters of revenge!_

"Disparu… why do you hesitate?" The voice asked, almost pleasantly, as if he knew of the storm inside my head.

 _Because he's the one causing it… this is the akuma…_ The realization struck me hard, and I wondered why I hadn't realized that before. _Ben is dead! He's dead because of Logan, and all of the others! This is their fault, not yours. Your other half is gone. Now take back what you've lost!_ Now I knew the reason why those thoughts were so strange. It was because they were Hawk Moth's.

I winced as a headache began to form. _I don't want revenge._ The measly thought seemed pathetic and pitiful compared to those of the akuma's corruption. _Your friends deserve it. Logan deserves it. Ladybug and Chat Noir deserve it. They all have earned the right to be erased! Just like your brother! Besides, who are you without your other half? You are exactly that. You're only half of what you once were. Let me fill that gaping hole in your heart. Revenge is a remedy for the wounded, and I can grant you power. Power that can heal._ I couldn't help but agree with Hawk Moth. He was absolutely right. Or… I was absolutely right. I was only half, but I still didn't want to hurt others.

"Disparu… You-"

"Don't call me Disparu!" I cried out, bringing my hands up to my head as the headache grew worse.

The voice chuckled. My hands grew stiff and the hairs on the back of my neck sprang up. "The choice is yours Disparu… But don't let the memories of your brother cloud your judgement. Don't let his stale wisdom numb your emotions, your anger and pain… He's dead." The voice suddenly grew hard and piercing, and with each word that sounded in my head, sent a pang of pain through my entire body. I now wished his voice would disappear. "Your other half is dead."

Tears filled my eyes. "I… I'll…" I winced again as my headache throbbed, my hands starting to tremble. It was too much… too much… "I'll do what you ask." My voice dwindled into nothing, and I gasped as the sharp pain suddenly vanished. Another chill crept through my body, and as it reached my head I could feel my reason, my _identity_ slowly fading away… slipping out of my grasp. _No… I… can't…_ I gave up fighting as the last of my sane emotions spilled out of my mind. My eyes hardened as my anger, pain and despair filled my empty mind. _I am Disparu… Those who aided in my brother's death will pay. They… will… PAY!_


	7. First Encounter

"I am Disparu!" I cried out over the crowd, smiling maliciously. Oh how glorious it felt! I clenched my hands into fists, feeling the power that they held within. I stood on top of a building, and a rather sizable group of people had gathered below me. I tilted my head up and let out a loud, booming laugh, letting the world hear that I was not afraid to destroy everything and everyone.

"The power is yours. Do what you wish, but don't forget our agreement, Disparu." The smooth voice was still in my mind, and I knew he saw everything I saw, and that he could withdraw my power at a moments notice.

I smirked. _I'm a pet on a leash._ For some reason, the thought didn't matter to me. "Don't get your mind twisted into a screw, Hawk Moth." I let out another laugh. "Or you might end up like me."

I turned my attention back down upon the civilians below me, and my eyes scanned the crowd. _No Logan in sight… I wonder where the coward is hiding?_ I took in a slight breath before holding out my arms as if I were performing. Which I was. "Listen to my voice, civilians of Paris! My one and only brother was taken from me. He was _erased_ from my life, and so…" I paused, glancing over at the building across the street from me. It looked to be an apartment building, almost like the one I lived in. I chuckled deep in my throat. _Perfect._ "...And so it appears the only logical solution, is for me to erase everything from each and every one of you!" As I finished my proclamation, I held out my right palm out towards the building. I closed my hand into a fist, and as I did, the building started to disappear from the outside to the middle, as if some giant invisible hand was squeezing the building.

Screams echoed in the distance as those who were in the building at the time fell when the ground beneath them vanished. Those who were on the top floor screamed the loudest and the longest.

Exclamations and cries of fear exploded from the crowd as the giant building vanished from the face of the earth. "This is what awaits you all!" I shouted, cackling with delight to see everyone squirm in fear.

"Disparu!" A vaguely familiar voice pierced through my laugh, and my smirk transformed into a scowl. It was Ladybug and her pet, Chat Noir. My mouth twitched, threatening to smile once more. _He's just like me._

"There they are Disparu… dispatch them immediately and bring me their miraculous…" Hawk Moth's voice flowed like water, and I felt myself give him a curt nod.

"I won't dispatch of them until I've had some fun." I responded. "That was our agreement, was it not?"

I could almost feel Hawk Moth fuming with sudden frustration. "Of course it was." He replied, all traces of anger well hidden. "However, don't forget…" He paused, and a sudden pain erupted in my skull and hands, and I cried out. "I gave you your powers, and you will pay for them in kind. Or else…" The pain grew worse, and it felt as if my inner body was being pulled away from my skin. Through my flickering vision I could see my hands were as stiff as rods, bent at weird angles while they shook violently.

"...F-fine…" I managed to say. The pain instantly ceased. My vision returned and my hands were my own once more. I looked up at Ladybug and Chat Noir. They had moved closer, now only a street separating us. They were staring at me with confusion and perhaps even a touch of sympathy. I clenched my teeth. _There they are… the ones who failed their very purpose in life!_ My fingers rolled into fists. _I will not fail as they have._ "So Ladybug and Chat Noir, _Guardians_ of Paris, what now?" I spread my hands out wide in front of me.

Ladybug and Chat Noir glanced at each other before their confused expressions wore off, replaced with determination. Ladybug was the first to speak. "Listen to me, Disparu. We don't want to hurt you. Look at what Hawk Moth was doing to you!"

I laughed scornfully. Just like Ladybug to start things off with reasoning and negotiation. _I'm well past that point._ "You two must be fools to call yourselves superheros." I said, completely ignoring what Ladybug had said. I gave them a toothy grin. "For all I know, you failed in saving one of your precious civilians from a car crash. Oh! Excuse me… it was simply an _accident_." I could feel my unearthly anger starting to swirl, forming a storm that could and would burst on a moments notice.

Again Ladybug and Chat Noir glanced at each other, and Chat even gave Ladybug a small shrug. "Who… Who did you lose?" Ladybug tentatively asked.

My eyes darkened. "That does not concern you."

"Whoever it was… would you really want them to see you like this? Would they want this?" Now Chat Noir spoke, and his eyes showed that he understood. _How could he? He's never lost anyone, and he's never felt the pain I have._

However, despite my anger and insanity, I _felt_ something. Something odd. _Ben wouldn't want this…_ My eyes widened at the thought.

"Disparu! Don't forget our agreement! Ben is dead. There's nothing he can say now. All there is is your revenge and power. Use it to your advantage!" Hawk Moth said, his voice the sound of thunder. I winced slightly as I remembered the pain. _He's right._ Despite my attempts to hide it however, that strange thought had taken root in my mind, and it was growing.

The two superheroes before me knew they had struck a chord inside me when Chat Noir said those words. Anger flooded my mind, temporarily covering that strange sensation. _There's no point in this measly banter._ I lifted my hand, my palm facing the two superheroes. "Who first?" I asked pleasantly, then closed my fist.

Either I was too slow, or they were too quick. Ladybug and Chat Noir leapt out of my sight, and the only thing I was able to erase was an unfortunate pigeon that had flown in front of my hand. I spun around back towards the plaza. The crowd had dispersed, filling the air with their screams and stamping feet. Ladybug and Chat Noir were down on the streets, staring up at me with their baton and yo-yo spinning.

I leaped off of the roof of the building, landing swiftly onto my feet. I again held up my palm towards the two superheroes, and they ran as expected. I then quickly pointed at the ground beneath Chat Noir's running feet, and erased part of the road. Chat yelped and fell into a good thirty foot deep hole that had suddenly appeared, thanks to me. I was about to do the same thing with Ladybug, but she wasn't anywhere to be seen. I spun around again, finding Ladybug back up on the roof. She jumped down, wanting to land on me. I smiled and pointed my palm up at her. This was it. Bye-bye Ladybug.

Just as I closed my fist, Ladybug landed and twirled her yo-yo in front of her as a shield. Promptly her yo-yo vanished without a trace. She gasped as the weight of her weapon left her fingers and she stumbled for just a moment. It was then when I created another thirty foot deep hole just below the superheroine, and watched with satisfaction as she plummeted down to the bottom.

 _Some superheroes._ I thought to myself with a smug expression. I walked over to the hole I had made and looked down into it. Ladybug was down there, struggling to find a way up. It was difficult without her yo-yo. _Some superheroes who didn't save my brother._ My eyes narrowed once more and my gaze hardened into a dark glare. "Not so threatening without your toy." I mused. Ladybug glared right up back at me. "Now I have you where I want you." I said, my face set with a grim line. I slowly held my hand out towards Ladybug, and her glare evaporated from her eyes. Instead there was only plain, cold fear. "Don't worry, Ladybug. I'll only erase you from existence, so that Chat Noir can live with the torture and pain of living without you. His other _half_." I said coldly. I opened my palm towards her and was about to clench my fist when something hard smacked me in the side of my head.

With an explosion of pain I flew a couple of feet and landed hard on my back with nothing but a screaming headache. When I looked up to see what had hit me, Chat Noir stood proudly, his baton extended. I groaned internally. _His baton. Of course. I should've thought of that before sending him down that hole._ I leaped back onto my feet despite the pain in my head, and Chat held his baton out to me like a sword. "Listen to me, Disparu… I know how you feel, and trust me, this is not the way to handle it."

I scoffed. "You haven't even felt an ounce of pain compared to what I feel, but trust me. You soon WILL!" I screamed the last word and lunged at Chat Noir, holding out my hand to erase him.

He slid smoothly to the side and was about to hit me again with his baton, but I grabbed it as I ran past him. I smiled maliciously. "Why thank you." I said right as I squeezed my grip on the baton and erased it, my hand holding nothing but air. Chat stumbled back, looking down at his empty hand before he looked right back up to only be met by the palm of my hand. "Listen closely, _kitty._ " I growled, my eyes narrowed to slits. "I'm going to leave, and you'll do nothing to even try to stop me. A predator must hunt their prey." My fingers twitched, and I was extremely tempted to erase this pesky feline out of existence. However, I hesitated. _Has he really felt what I have? Is that even possible?_

"Disparu! Finish him! Bring me his miraculous!" Hawk Moth shouted, his voice plagued by hysteria.

 _No._ I slowly lowered my hand from Chat Noir, and before he could recover, I turned and sprinted away, quickly crossing the plaza as I leaped up onto a building. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure Chat hadn't followed me, and sure enough he was still standing where I had left him. He was staring up at me, and even from here I could see the amazement and sympathy burning in his eyes. I scoffed once again and leapt away.

As I continued on my way bounding across the rooftops, I heard Hawk Moth's cold voice fill my head. "I warned you once what would happen if you disobeyed me." He said harshly, and I paused on top of a house, keeping my balance on the slanted roof. Dread filled my heart.

"Wait." I said quickly, before the pain could come. "I got rid of Ladybug's and Chat Noir's weapons. They won't be much of a threat now." I pointed out desperately. Despite the power I contained, I still was afraid of the pain Hawk Moth could summon.

A chilling laugh echoed throughout my skull. "You ill-minded fool! You had them! You HAD THEM!" His voice grew so loud that it hurt, and as I grimaced I almost lost my footing. A moment of silence enveloped the evening air before Hawk Moth spoke again. His voice was calm and quiet. "I'll show mercy to you, Disparu… but not after some punishment."

Right as his voice faded away the same searing pain enveloped my mind and body, and I screamed until my voice gave out.


	8. Logan Brown

It was the next day. For the entire night I had hid away, watching as people tried to fix the damage I had done. Now I was standing on top of a building that was across the street from the school. I stared intently down upon the students, waiting for my prey. _Logan. He's responsible for Ben's death._ The thought kept repeating itself, and I let it. It fueled my powers, and it kept the memory of that horrible, horrible pain out of my mind.

After of what seemed like an eternity, I spotted him. The boy responsible for my twin's demise. He was walking with his usual pack of friends, smiling and chattering happily. _You don't deserve that pathetic smile._ I slowly walked to the edge of the building and leapt off of it, landing directly behind Logan and his friends. All of the students stopped dead in their tracks, staring at me with fear.

"Logan Brown." I let out a bark of laughter. "You're just the one I wanted to see."

Logan stared at me with absolute fear, and I was surprised he hadn't attempted to escape yet. His friends were switching their gazes from their friend to me, then back again to Logan. They were probably wondering why I was after him. "W-what do you w-want?" Logan stuttered, his hands starting to tremble.

I grinned. "You." I stated. Logan took a step away from me, and for a quick moment nobody moved. Then everybody moved. It was chaotic. Students were either running away from the school or into it, and Logan had already been abandoned by his so called friends. "Why aren't you running?" I asked, cocking my head to the side. "You've already ran away from the grief that's plagued me for days."

"I...I don't know what you're t-talking about." He replied, again taking a step away. It was the wrong thing to say.

My eyes burned with hatred and anger, and I was about to erase him right then and there when a thought stopped me. _This is Ben's friend. Ben wouldn't want this._ I gritted my teeth in frustration. _This boy is a murderer! He deserves what's coming to him!_ "You don't remember that fateful night? Think Logan Brown. Think real hard." I paused before my pent up emotions exploded. "You killed my twin!"

Logan's eyes widened. "C-charlotte?"

"NO! No I'm Disparu! I'm your doom!" I screamed back.

It was then when Logan's courage shattered. He turned and sprinted into the school, and I laughed loudly. "You can't hide in that pathetic school, Logan Brown! I will find you! And you will pay for Ben's death!"

Still laughing maniacally, I raised my palm towards the school and clenched my fist. The school vanished without a sound. Screams spilled from students mouths, and for the unfortunate ones who were on the second floor suddenly found themselves on the ground, with twisted ankles, fractured bones and what not.

I walked into the gigantic crowd of hundreds of students, who all stared up at me with the usual emotion of fear. I glared back down at them and even erased a few before my eyes caught those of the pig-tail girl. The girl who had talked to me before I was akumatized. I stalked over to her and stared into her eyes. I wasn't met by fear or even a whimper. I was met with a confident gaze, that firmly told me "I'm not afraid of you." I sneered down at her. "You aren't the one I'm looking for." I stated plainly and continued my search.

It wasn't long before I found him. He was lying on the floor, groaning and writhing in pain. I smiled triumphantly and walked over to him. I was about to say something but the words caught in my throat.

Logan was shaking in a pool of blood. Everyone around him were either whimpering, trying to help in some way, or just too stunned to move. A white, gore covered bone protruded from his back, and instantly I knew what had happened. _He must've ran to the second floor._ The realization made me hesitate, while my mind screamed at me to finish him, to erase him from existence.

"Why do you hesitate? Erase him and bring me Ladybug and Chat Noir's miraculous!" Hawk Moth ordered, but I ignored him. I… I wanted Logan to feel the pain I did, but… not like this… _Then what did you want?_ My mind asked me, my anger being overwhelmed by guilt and regret. _Not this… not this…_ I stepped away from the boy, shaking my head. "Not this… Ben wouldn't want… not this…" I turned to leave when I was met face to face with Ladybug. I glanced over my shoulder and wasn't surprised to see Chat Noir calling an ambulance from some kids phone and helping Logan. I looked back at Ladybug, who was smiling.

"Games up, Disparu." She said, fists raised.

Continuing to stare at her, I was surprised when I felt a burning sensation in my nose, and then… tears. "Not this… I don't want this…" I said quietly, and Ladybug looked at me with confusion. She slowly lowered her fists. "Ladybug I don't want this!" I cried out, and the tears spilled out of my eyes. I brought my hands up to my head, and let out another cry. _You're pathetic!_ My anger screeched at me. Falling onto my knees, I gingerly held out my wrist to Ladybug. On it was a rubberband I had always worn, mostly because my brother always complained about how unnatural and useless it was. So, to bug him, I would wear it all the time. "P-please…" I said shakily. The rubberband was where the akuma was, and I knew to relieve me of this monstrous hunger for revenge and Hawk Moth's cruel voice and thoughts, Ladybug had to break the band and capture the akuma.

"What…?" Ladybug replied, her eyes wide and her whole body stiff. "Is this some sort of… trick?" Even as she said those words, I knew that she didn't believe it was.

"Please… please…" My head drooped and I continued to cry, my hands shaking. _Ben I'm sorry… I'm so so sorry…_

I felt a timid hand grab mine, and then fingers wrapping around the rubberband and pulling it off. Looking up at Ladybug, I saw her staring right back at me. She didn't say anything. Instead, she pulled at the rubberband until it snapped into two. Instantly my vision went black and my head felt completely empty. There weren't any thoughts or emotions to harm or comfort me.


	9. I Remember

Just as it had begun, the strange emptiness ended. I blinked a few times, and my vision refocused like a camera lens. I was staring at dirt. Looking up, I felt confused and disorientated. _Where am I?_ Suddenly a swarm of tiny, glittering ladybugs soared past me and I found myself sitting on the cold floor of the school. As I watched the ladybugs dash around the students seeing some being swarmed by their own storm, the school slowly reappeared. I glanced behind me and was surprised to see Logan there, groaning and holding his head in his hands. He looked down at his arm and back, and relief rested on his features. He then looked at me and instantly tensed up again.

 _Why's he looking at me like that?_ Suddenly, a huge weight flooded into my mind, and I had to lie back onto the ground to keep from passing out again. As the flood slowly disappeared, tears sprang into my eyes. _Disparu…_ The memories chaotically swam in my head. _I… I caused so much… destruction…_ I looked back over at Logan, and fresh tears found their way onto my cheeks, joining their dry brethren. _He was in so much pain._

"Charlotte?" It was Ladybug. I slowly sat back up and looked over at the superheroine. My eyes switched to Chat Noir who knelt down next to Ladybug. "This is yours." Ladybug said, handing me my rubber band back. I wanted to throw up. _The akuma was there…_

I took the rubber band, but I didn't put it back on my wrist. It had caused too much pain. I looked back up at the two superheroes, fixing my gaze on Chat Noir. "Did you really lose someone?" I asked, my voice sounding shaken and weak.

Chat and Ladybug stared at me in disbelief. "Y...yeah… I did." Chat hesitantly answered. He glanced over at Ladybug, but she was too busy staring at me.

"Who?"

Chat continued to stare at me, and because of his shock, he willingly gave me an answer. "My… mother." He said quietly, and Ladybug's head snapped towards him with an expression of shock.

My heart lurched. "I'm… I'm sorry."

Ladybug, overcoming her temporary shock, looked back at me. "Do you… remember, Charlotte?"

My lip trembled. "I… I hurt so many people…" I stammered, my mind showing me an image of all those people falling from that building that I had erased. It had seemed like such a pointless incident. But then I remembered seeing Logan's back, and how the bone stuck out of it like a fabricless flag, and I choked on a sob. _All those people in that building… they felt the same pain for a whole day and night._

Ladybug slowly stood, pacing back and forth. I could hear her muttering something like "They never remember… they aren't _supposed_ to remember…"

Chat glanced at Ladybug before laying a soft hand on my shoulder. "Hey…" He started, and I looked over at him with red and tear filled eyes. "Don't let this hurt you, Charlotte." He said, giving me a comforting smile. "I know what this must have felt like, and I don't want you to experience it again."

I let out another sob and fell into his arms. He hugged me tightly, not saying anything. My cries came loudly, and soon a crowd of students had gathered around us. "I don't want to fight you again." Chat said softly before pulling away and standing up. He smiled at me one last time before running through the crowd and out of sight. Ladybug was gone as well.

"Charlie!" Someone screamed. I looked over to find Andrew fighting through the crowd. He broke free with Ava and London closely behind him. They all knelt down by me, concern etched into their faces.

I bit my lip. "I'm so so sorry you guys."

Before anyone responded, Ava looked up and around at everyone staring down at us. "Get out of here! You guys all have classes, don't you?!" She shouted. Everyone snapped out of their trance and scattered, the nastier students mumbling and muttering under their breath. Ava turned her attention back to me.

"Charlie, there's no need to apologize!" Andrew said, smiling softly.

London nodded. "We were really worried about you, Charlie." She said, her voice as quiet as ever.

Ava smiled. "But now it's over, right? You're ok and everyone else is ok too!"

I smiled weakly at them and tried to listen to their comforting comments, but I was too busy looking for a certain someone. Logan.

"Charlie!" My friends and I all turned our heads towards the new voice that rang out through the school. It was my mom.

"Charlie! You're ok!" Behind my mom was my dad. They both ran towards me and Andrew helped me stand. My parents instantly embraced me, and I struggled to stay on my feet.

After a while my parents let go of me. "Are you ok? We were so worried!" My mother exclaimed. She smoothed out my damp shirt. "But it's ok now, right? Oh you're probably so confused! You see, you were…"

"I remember." I stated plainly. My mom stopped talking and everyone stared at me.

"What?!" Ava shouted. Andrew clamped a hand over her mouth.

"But… but no one ever…" My father said under his breath.

I frowned. "It was awful, and I know…" I choked as a new gallon of fresh tears filled my vision. "Ben hates seeing me like t-that."

No one bothered to correct my mistake of using present tense, and no one did anything to stop the tears from flowing. They only took me into their arms, and the next thing I knew I was in my bed, crying into my pillow.


	10. A Pointless Escape

Three days later, someone knocked on my door and soon my mother walked into my room. "Hey Charlie." She said sweetly. She was holding a plate of spaghetti. "I brought dinner." She placed the plate on the nightstand next to my bed. I didn't bother to respond. I pretended to be asleep, but my mother saw through my charade. She sat down on the edge of the bed. "Listen… Charlie… You've missed school for three days now. You need to go back. No one blames you for what you did. You had no control over it."

 _I did have control… I remember having control, and I was a maniac. I was a cold blooded murderer!_ I wanted to scream to my mother that I was a monster, and I wanted to cry, to sob my guilt away. But I couldn't. My tears had long since dried up.

"Just… try to get out of bed. Andrew, Ava and London are all really worried about you. They've called five times this morning, asking if you would be going to school." Continuing to ignore her, I stared at the wall that my bed was up against. "You know I love you, right sweety?" I felt her tender hand touch my head and stroke my knotted hair. "Because I do." She said quietly before her warm touch was lifted away. She stood and left the room.

"How can you love someone like me?" I whispered to the wall, and buried myself into the covers of my bed.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was standing outside of the school, backpack resting heavily on my shoulders. I took a trembling breath and walked into the building that I had erased three days earlier.

As I passed the students crowded in the school, the ones nearest me stopped their conversations and stared at me. Keeping my head low, I struggled to keep my hands and lip from trembling. I hastily ran up the stairs and into the classroom, settling down into my seat. My eyes refused to make contact with anything but my desk. _I shouldn't be here… nobody wants me here. I'm a monster… I'm a monster._ I laid my head down onto my arms, breathing shallow breaths to try and keep my eyes from becoming wet.

"Charlie! You came!" I regretfully lifted my head, only to be met with Andrew's smile. "Are you ok?" He asked me. I nodded. He nodded in return. "You know, I've been working on that new piece, you know, the stupid one?" His smile grew larger as he brought up the inside joke that we had had last year.

My smile never reached my eyes. "Well it is stupid." I said, surprised to hear how normal my voice sounded. _It's all a trick… I'm nothing but a monster…_

Andrew laughed happily. I wish I could say the same happened to me. It was right then when the bell rang, and Andrew sighed. "We'll talk about this later." He told me, smiling with a glint in his eye as he made his way to his seat.

The day continued on as normal, or as normal as I remembered it having been. I talked with my teachers about the days I had missed, but they had all simply smiled and said "It's ok. We've excused you from your assignments." Although a few gave me homework to learn the material I had missed, none of it would affect my grade. _This isn't what I deserve._ I thought to myself glumly as I stuffed a new sheet of paper into my folder. _This isn't a fair punishment at all… I deserve worse._

A few classes later I was at lunch, sitting down at my usual place with my three friends. They all talked happily and laughed, and I laughed along with them, even though I felt hollow and empty. My stomach clenched as I saw Logan and his friends eating underneath a tree not too far from us. _This is just like that time before I exploded and got… akumatized._ My face grew pale from the memory. Or… memories.

"Hey Charlie, you ok?" Ava asked me. My head snapped back towards my friends. I hastily smiled.

"Yeah I'm fine!"

Ava frowned. "You look really pale. Are you sick?"

I shook my head in return. "No I'm fine. Just cold."

They weren't convinced.

There was about ten minutes before lunch was over, so I regretfully collected the trash from my devoured lunch and walked to the garbage can. I dumped it all into the trash. I turned to walk away when a voice stopped me.

"Wait!" It was Logan. Again, my stomach clenched with dread, guilt and fear. I turned to look at him.

"What is it?" I asked, my voice dry and weak. I was getting used to it.

A flash of concern flew across his face, but it was quickly replaced with a smile. "Are you ok?" He asked.

I gave him a fake smile and nodded. I didn't trust my words.

"Is it true…? Do you really remember everything?"

Again I felt that pang of guilt in my gut. "...Yeah…" I said hesitantly, looking down at my feet.

"You don't need to feel bad about anything!" He quickly said, noticing my guilt. "It was all Hawk Moth, not you." I flinched at the name Hawk Moth, and Logan must have noticed, because he placed a hand on my shoulder. I looked back up. "It's not your fault, you know."

"B-but it is!" I blurted, and I blinked rapidly as tears once again wet my eyes. "You should've seen it… your back…" I continued blinking as a single tear tipped over onto my cheek. "There was blood everywhere, and you were shaking and groaning… the pain was too much, and you didn't even have enough strength to scream." I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. "I made that happen to you, Logan! I caused you all of that pain, all because I was too weak, and-"  
"Charlotte! Look at me!" Logan said loudly, cutting off my rant. He put his free hand on my other shoulder. I was forced to look in his eyes. "You didn't cause that pain! I could tell you were fighting that akuma. I could tell just by looking at you." He smiled. "You're the strongest one here, Charlie."

I wanted to believe him. I really, really did, but the guilt was just too much. "But I was a monster, and I still am!" I stepped out of Logan's hold and ran away from him, ignoring the memory of when I had first done this. _How can he even stand to look at me?! I made him feel all of that pain! And those people…_ I continued to run until I was off of the school premises itself, and I paused on the sidewalk to catch my breath.

"Charlie!" My heart skipped a beat and I spun around. Logan was running towards me.

"Get away from me! I don't want to hurt you again!" I shouted back, turning and running away. I couldn't get a hold of my thoughts. My emotions were controlling me now. I wanted to run away from this guilt. I wanted to run away from myself.

Finally I stopped in the park, sitting down on one of the wooden benches. I held my head in between my hands. I heard the thumping of feet, and I looked up only to find Logan standing over me. He was breathing hard.

"What are you doing?!" I said hysterically. "I'm going to kill you again!"

Logan seemed taken aback by this. "You didn't kill me, Charlie! I'm right here."

My breathing came in short rapid bursts as I tried to calm my heart as well as keep from crying. I knew that if I started, I would never be able to stop. "I'm sorry… so so sorry…" I said quietly, my voice just a breath.

Logan sighed and was about to sit down when he froze, staring over my head. He suddenly grew extremely stiff, the blood draining from his face. "An a-akuma." He said, taking a step back.

My heart dropped like lead. I turned my head to look behind me, and sure enough, another purple moth was fluttering towards me, not even realizing the destruction and pain it could cause. "Charlie!" Logan blurted. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to my feet. My legs were shaky. I stumbled and fell, but Logan caught me. "Charlie we have to get out of here!" Logan shouted. I couldn't hear him. I was filled to the brim with fear. _No… no not again… I can't fight him again…_ I thought back to that cold, smooth voice, and the unbearable pain that he had wrought upon me when I didn't obey him. "Charlie!" Logan screamed, snapping me out of my thoughts.

The akuma was only a few feet away. It was going for my rubberband again. I gasped and broke into a run. Logan was already ahead of me, still holding onto my wrist. We ran through the park, people hastily stepping out of our way, running away with exclamations of fear once they saw the akuma fluttering calmly behind us.

We ran along the sidewalk, passing the school. Logan was still holding onto my wrist, as if he knew that if he let go, I would be in the akuma's grasp and Hawk Moth would have me. He was right, in a way. We continued running until suddenly my foot caught on a crack in the sidewalk. With a yelp I fell onto the cement, smacking my head on a rock. Bright dots flashed in my eyes, and the last thing I heard was Logan screaming my name before I was lost in darkness.


	11. Memento

"Charlie… Charlie… Charlie!" Someone was shaking me. I slowly opened my eyes, looking up. It was Andrew. Ava and London were standing beside him.

"W-what…?" I muttered, confused. My head screamed at me. I reached up, and when I brought my hand back down, dark crimson blood covered my fingers. _I'm not akumatized.  
But why? How? _"What happened? What's going on?"

Ava was the one to answer my questions. "We ran after you and Logan, but then before we got to the park you guys came running back and then you fell and… and…"

 _No… no please don't let it be true._ Ava continued. "Since you were knocked out, the akuma had nowhere to go but to-"

"Logan." I finished for her. She nodded. A crushing weight fell on top of me. _He's akumatized because of me. If only I hadn't tripped…_ "Where is he now?" I asked, trying to cut off my venomous thoughts, but they continued to speak, writhing and slithering in the back of my mind.

"He went that way." Andrew said, pointing out towards the Eiffel Tower. "But Charlie we need to get you to the hospital. Who knows what damage that rock did to your head? You're already bleeding really bad." His brow knitted together in worry.

I shook my head, ignoring the pain. "No. This is all my fault. I have to do something about it."

Ava frowned. "And what are you going to do?"

I slowly got onto my shaking legs, and when I stumbled Andrew grabbed my arm to steady me. "Whatever I can."

Andrew, Ava, London and I all ran towards the Eiffel Tower, Andrew keeping a firm grip on my arm in case I fell or passed out. My head felt like it had a thousand migraines, and I felt dizzy whenever my foot slammed onto the ground, but I continued running. This was all my fault, and now Logan was paying for my mistakes. I shuddered as I remember the chill that crept over me whenever Hawk Moth spoke.

After a few more minutes of running and dodging civilians, we finally broke out of the streets and into the plaza that stretched out in front of the Eiffel Tower. It didn't take us long to find Logan.

Ladybug and Chat Noir were already fighting him, and because of the distance separating us, they looked like small dots darting this way and that. However, despite the distance, we could still hear Logan laughing maniacally. _I sounded just like that…_ I shoved the thought out of my head. I needed to get Logan out of the akuma's control. I took a step forward, but Andrew was still holding onto my arm. "Charlie, wait…" He said hastily. As I turned around he let go of my arm. His cheeks flushed a tint of red. "I know Ladybug and Chat Noir can defeat Logan and save him, so… do you really want to try?"

My eyes narrowed slightly. "I have to." I said firmly. Seeing the concern and fear in Andrew's eyes softened my expression. "But I don't have to alone."

"Woah wait! You thought we would abandon you?" Ava exclaimed.

"I thought you'd try to stop me."

Andrew smiled. "That was just a few moments ago. But I know I can't stop you from walking to your death."

I smiled back. "Thanks."

And with that, we turned and ran towards the Eiffel Tower, where three superpowered beings were causing quite a ruckus.

As we got closer to the Eiffel Tower and Logan, I could begin to make out his akumatized form. He was nothing. Literally. His form resembled himself, but his legs blended together to create a swirl. He looked like those cartoon ghosts you see on kid friendly halloween decorations. Suddenly, his figure morphed together and soon appeared another Chat Noir. Ladybug and Chat Noir hesitated, their jaws dropped open.

Logan cackled delightedly. "So pathetic." He said, his voice sounding identical to Chat Noir's. "Chat Noir I dare say you've had quite the past." He cackled once more.

"W-what?" Chat sputtered out.

"You haven't figured it out yet?" Logan cocked his head to the side. The sight made my stomach churn. He reminded me so much of myself when I had been Disparu. "Fine. I'll tell you, even though your memories, Chat Noir, tell me you have quite the brain." He paused, letting his words fade away into the wind. "Whenever I discover a new form, I immediately receive that person's memories, thoughts, and beliefs. I _become_ them. Isn't that something to remember?"

Chat glanced over at Ladybug, terror etched into his features. "Does that mean…?"

"Why yes, kitty cat. I know your identity." His voice changed mid sentence and suddenly he was Ladybug. "And now I know yours." He said, or rather… she said.

In the blink of an eye, Ladybug charged at Logan, swinging her yo-yo in rapid speeds. Chat Noir was right behind her. Logan scoffed and leapt to the side, avoiding their attack. He shifted while still in the air and became his strange ghost form. He flew high above Ladybug and Chat Noir, laughing. "And so, my little heroes, is why my name is Memento!" He cried out. Ladybug leapt up towards him, and threw her yo-yo at him. He dodged the attack once more and transformed into Chat Noir again, landing swiftly onto his feet. He was about to charge at the two superheroes when his head suddenly flicked towards me. His eyes bore into mine, and I felt like curling up into a ball and willing the world to vanish.

"Charlotte. Just the one I wanted to see." He said quietly. Then he changed once more. I blinked a few times and froze. Standing, no more than ten feet away, was Ben. My twin. My _dead_ twin. He kept staring at me, and smiled. My heart broke. Ben always smiled like that to me, and whenever he did his eyes seemed to sparkle and his positive glow grew stronger. I wanted to run up to him and hug him. I felt tears stinging my eyes. _It's not real… it's not real…_ I kept telling myself, but I didn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. My brother was alive.

I was shoved out of my trance when Ladybug and Chat Noir charged at Ben, ready to strike him down. They were going to hurt my brother. Chat Noir was the first to him. He smacked Ben in the ribs with his baton, sending him flying. My brothers face contorted into pain and he landed a few feet away, groaning. Chat Noir held up his hand. "Cataclysm!" He exclaimed. My heart skipped a beat.

"NO!" I screamed, running towards Chat Noir. I was too far away. I wouldn't be able to save him in time. "STOP! I CAN'T LOSE YOU AGAIN!"

Chat Noir hesitated, looking over at me. My brother sat up, looked at me, and smiled once again. I'd never seen that smile on his face before. I stopped running, rooted to the spot. Then Ben suddenly leapt to his feet and snatched Chat Noir's baton. Before Chat could realize his mistake, Ben swung the weapon and smacked his head. With a groan, Chat Noir crumpled at the feet of my brother. Ben turned to look at me again, and smiled. "Thank you for your help."

"Chat!" Ladybug cried out, and she raced toward my brother and Chat Noir. I didn't see anything else. My vision was blurred with tears.

 _No… this is all my fault… again._ My hands started to tremble once more, and warm blood trickled onto my forehead. _All my fault…_ "No… no…" This was a nightmare. I couldn't believe I had actually thought Ben was somehow alive. I'd seen him die right in front of me. I fell to my knees, holding my head in my hands as I continued to cry. _Face it Charlie. He's gone. There's no way you can get him back._ "This is all my fault!"

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I slowly looked up, and my eyes widened as Ben looked down at me. He was trembling, and I was surprised to find tears in his eyes. He knelt down in front of me and hugged me. I hesitated a moment before hugging him back, and I allowed myself to believe it really was Ben once more.

I gasped slightly as he started to talk, my twins comforting voice making me forget the chaos that surrounded us. "Please don't cry…" He said softly, hugging me tighter. "I… I've always loved you Charlie. Not as anyone else but as your brother. As your twin. We're like the same person you and I, so what you feel right now is what I feel as well. Don't let me feel this, and don't let others feel the same, perhaps even worse." He pulled away from the embrace, looking into my eyes as his own warm tears rushed down his cheeks. "Your guilt and shame affects those around you, especially the ones you love." He smiled.

I choked on some more sobs, and pulled Ben back into the embrace. "I know… I'm sorry…" I felt Ben slowly morph and I pulled away, staring into Ben's eyes as they vanished. Next thing I knew, Logan was kneeling in front of me. He wasn't in his strange ghost form. He was just himself.

"I…" He slowly got to his feet, pulling me up with him. His eyes looked confused and hurt, and I knew he was experiencing the same torment I had. "This isn't… me…"

It was then when Ladybug attacked. She grabbed Logan's arm and pulled him away from me. Logan's wide eyed expression turned to Ladybug. "I… don't… know…" He said, taking a trembling breath as he reached into his shirt, pulling out a plain leather cord that was wrapped around his neck like a necklace. "Please… take it…" His hands were shaking so bad that he almost dropped the leather. Ladybug quickly took it off of him and snapped it into two.


	12. It's All Over

It only took a few moments before Logan was himself. He had collapsed when Ladybug had purified the akuma. I had caught him before he fell. He looked up at me, and I knew what he was feeling. After a moment his breathing slowed and he seemed to have recovered somewhat. However, before anyone else could intervene, he stared right into my eyes and said between breaths: "I… I remember." His eyes were wide. "Your brother… those were his words… not mine."

I expected to cry, to mourn for my brother, but I didn't feel sad or alone. I brought Logan into a hug. "Thank you." I whispered.

We felt more arms wrap around us, and I immediately knew it was my three friends. We stayed like that for a while, until we all separated, forming a small circle. "Don't ever run at an akuma like that again." Ava told me harshly, punching me lightly in the shoulder.

"Sorry." I said lamely, smiling weakly.

We all laughed, but Logan still seemed troubled. "What's wrong?" I asked him.

He glanced around at us before sighing, his shoulder sagging. "I… remember."

My three friends all collectively gasped, but I already knew this. I could see it in his eyes and demeanor. Before anyone could say anything, Ladybug appeared next to us. Chat Noir was standing as well, although he looked shaky, and he was rubbing his head.

"Logan, listen… you were akumatized, and-" Ladybug began, but Logan quickly cut her off. He stood.

"I remember everything." He stated. Ladybug stared at him.

"What?" She asked, suddenly stiff.

Logan turned his attention to Chat Noir. "Sorry… about your head." He said guiltily.

Chat laughed. "It's ok. I've been through worse." He said, shrugging. The action obviously caused him pain.

My mind flashed back to when Chat Noir had tried to negotiate with me when I was akumatized. " _Listen to me, Disparu… I know how you feel, and trust me, this is not the way to handle it."_ Had he really lost someone? My eyes widened slightly. _He had lost his mother…_ I felt a pang of sympathy towards the superhero.

"But… how? How do you remember?" Ladybug asked, finally breaking out of her stupor.

Logan merrily shrugged.

"Chat, we need to go talk to _him_." She said to her partner. Chat looked over at her and nodded. He looked back at Logan and I before they left.

"Don't go crying anymore. Both of you." He said with a smile. "I don't want to fight either of you again. You're two nasty akumas." We laughed with him as Ladybug and Chat Noir both turned and leapt away.

I turned away from the ever shrinking dots of the superheroes to face my friends. I glanced over at Logan. He still seemed shaken and disturbed, but I could tell that he'd be okay. My friends smiled brightly and Ava quickly started up a conversation with some witty remark.

I still felt guilty for all that I had done in the past few weeks, and I still felt the loss of my brother, but it wasn't as bad anymore. What is done is done. You can't change the past, even if you had the power of a miraculous. _But what if I hadn't gotten akumatized at all? What if Logan was the one killed? What if-_ I shook my head, discarding my negative thoughts.

There was no point in thinking that way. I'd only make myself miserable. Andrew glanced over at me and smiled, casually making his way over to me. We looked at each other for a moment, a silent understanding passing between the two of us. Then we walked with our friends as we made way for home.

School was canceled after all.

 **Hello again :)**

 **Thank you to everyone who's read through the entire fanfic! It means so much to me and it really helps motivate me to keep writing. I hope you enjoyed reading, and don't hesitate to leave a review**


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